Tales of a Ragamuffin

Okay, I know I haven’t been posting on here very often. Hopefully this summer that will change. 

Right now I’m struggling with how much of my past/story to really share with people. There’s a lot of pain in my past that most people don’t realize was there. Really only a few people in my life know the whole story. Because: 

1. The whole story is scary, I can’t believe how far I’ve come and I don’t want to go back there again.

2. Even though it is a very serious story and a very large part of my testimony, I don’t want people to think that I’m over exaggerating it for drama or attention. I know there are people who have gone through worse, and I don’t want to aggravate them by bringing my own issues into play.

However, over the past few weeks, especially as I prepare to go to college in the fall, I realize where I’ve been has brought me here. And a lot of people could benefit from hearing about what I have been through and how God helped me get through it, and how without Him, I might not be here today. 

I’ve mentioned briefly these painful parts of my past, but rarely do I ever go into detail about it. Why? I don’t really know. I guess I don’t want people to think that’s where I am now, because its not. It’s where I’ve been. Here’s to hoping that I never go back.

A few weeks ago I actually went into a little more detail about my story with some girls I didn’t even know that well. And to be honest, it felt pretty good. So maybe sometime soon I’ll gather the courage to tell all 26 of you tumblr followers my entire story, without the spoonful of honey I usually try to feed with it. 

Okay, taking a break from the Ragamuffin thoughts series for a while here because there’s a lot more going on that I know God is gonna want me to share and I don’t want to refrain from sharing just because I feel limited by a series I decided to do.

Anyway, I’m graduating from high school an about a week. It’s just hit me recently how ALIVE I am. A year or two ago I didn’t think I belonged on this earth, but God used a series of encounters to change my heart and every day his Holy Spirit helps me fight the battle within.

I can’t believe I got here. Because honestly, I guess I didn’t really think I would. I had other plans, but praise be to the Lord above that He intercepted and showed me how meaningful my life can/could/would be. 

Nothing, and NO ONE is a waste. 

Here’s the next quote from The Ragamuffin Gospel. I’m going through from beginning to end and picking what stood out to me, and giving my thoughts. Even though I tend to ramble, this is definitely no substitute for the actual book. I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who is burnt out on religion and tired of walking out of church feeling like a child put into the corner.

“Our huffing and puffing to impress God, our scrambling for brownie points, our thrashing about trying to fix ourselves while hiding our pettiness and wallowing in guilt are nauseating to God and are a flat denial of the gospel of grace” (Manning 18)

Sometimes I get so caught up in making sure I’m not “disappointing God.” But God isn’t looking for my faults, he doesn’t need to be impressed! He loves me just the way I am.

Yes, according to His Word I am commanded to pursue a life like Christ. I am commanded to love others as He loves me. But I think it’s also important to remember that if we spend all our time trying to be righteous, we totally defeat the purpose of grace!

We are going to fail. There, I said it. We are broken people who are going to do things wrong and have horrible days and weeks and months and we are going to cry and wonder how we got ourselves in this mess. Just because I’ve accepted Christ, it doesn’t mean my life is going to be a moral cakewalk and/or that I should feel racked with guilt when life deviates from this moral cakewalk.

The whole purpose of Christ dying for our sins was that We are not and will never be [in this earthly life] without sin. There is nothing we can do to earn the love of God.

There’s nothing we can do to EARN the love of God, because he has already given it to us! He loved us even though we didn’t deserve it, that’s the whole point! 

And oh, how wonderful that love is!

As mentioned in the previous post, I am currently reading The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. For the next dozen posts or so I’ll be quoting an excerpt of the book, and then giving my thoughts. This is from Chapter 1.

“Put bluntly, the American church today accepts grace in theory but denies it in practice. We say we believe that the fundamental structure of reality is grace, not works—but our lives refute our faith. By and large, the gospel of grace is neither proclaimed, understood, nor lived. Too many Christians are living in the house of fear and not the house of love” (Manning 16)

This statement is very true in my own life. In recent months I have come out of church or study feeling ashamed and reprimanded rather than loved by a God that is in fact, love itself.

It is true that many facets of our culture today lean toward what I like to call the “Oprah church,” a faith that is all about God’s love and completely forgets his overwhelming power. However, many core issues in our culture and the arguments of unbelievers associate the God of love with wrath, anger, and judgement, making them totally ashamed—or perhaps too prideful—to accept the forgiveness of Christ. 

God loves us. Yes, we are called to obedience and good works, but this is as a result of our faith! Good works do very little for us if we do not understand the concept of God’s unrelenting, powerful love for each of his children. A love that covers all our sins in the name of Christ Jesus! 

So, today I ask you. Really asking. Do you know that God loves you? No one is ever to marred or messed up to be forgiven in the eyes of our Lord.

Accepting Christ doesn’t mean we will automatically stop messing up, it means that we have acknowledged our brokenness and accepted the super glue God offers to put us back together.

Hello everyone. In case I haven’t mentioned it before, one of my favorite musicians is and will always be Rich Mullins. His worship and gospel songs were constantly playing around me when I was really young, and I suppose his music has rubbed off on me as an almost young adult. He’s definitely on my “people I can’t wait to meet in heaven list.”

That being said, I received a plethora of his CDs for Chrstmas this year since my mom figured out how online shopping works. Along with these CDs she found several books either written by or associated Rich Mullins, and got those for me as well. 

One of these books is the Ragamuffin Gospel. Rich Mullins didn’t write it, but he wrote a testimony that was featured in this particular copy of the book. Anyhow, the Ragamuffin Gospel is all about just how good the Gospel really is! It goes in depth about how the American church has invested so much effort into legalism and service that we totally ignore the overwhelming love our Savior has for us! 

I am so glad I started reading this book when I did, because lately I have been wallowing a little too much in my own shame. I get so caught up in my sins and the guilt that results from them, in my little slip ups that result in breaking Christian rules, that I totally forget that God accepts me just as I am!

So here is my confession.

I am a ragamuffin, but I am a daughter of God. God loves me. God accepts me. And there is nothing I can do to earn His grace because it is freely given to me through Jesus Christ.

No amount of shame, nothing I have done, and nothing I will ever do can separate me from the love of my Lord. Isn’t that great news??? He is not disappointed in me, He is not sitting on a cloud waiting for me to fail. He loves me, and He is willing to do whatever it takes to bring me closer to Him and see the wonder of His grace, even sacrifice His only son!

I’m thinking about changing the title of this blog, so don’t be confused if I do. I’ll be referring to myself as I am…as a ragamuffin! The Ragamuffin Gospel  has many great points about the Gospel, the American church, and the taboo issues associated with the church. I’m hoping to elaborate on some of this in future posts. 

So grateful to be sprinkled by the blood of the Passover Lamb!